How to Cope with Holiday Stress Before It Starts
- Jenna Miles
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Early on in my parenting journey, I absorbed every “should” of the season. I was continuously burning my candle at both ends to create every magical moment possible.
It wasn’t until one Thanksgiving Day, after sweating in the kitchen all morning and missing the Macy’s Day Parade and my all-time favorite—the National Dog Show—that I realized something needed to change. Once the meal was complete, I felt proud of myself. But when I finally sat down with my then one- and three-year-old children and partner, it hit me: this wasn’t really for me.
My kids, not used to this kind of cuisine, promptly threw their food (and plates) on the floor in the midst of a meltdown. My partner’s frustration quickly bubbled up in defense of me, and I remember feeling completely drained. In that chaotic moment, I decided that while I genuinely enjoy cooking, I value being calm and present with my family even more. From that year forward, I stopped worrying about creating the “perfect” holiday and focused instead on being in the moment—soaking in the small joys of simply being home together (as much relaxation as possible with two little ones).
That shift didn’t just make the holidays easier—it made them more meaningful. And that’s what this season is really about.
The holiday season is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it can also be one of the most stressful. Between family dynamics, financial strain, packed schedules, and the pressure to make everything “perfect,” it’s easy to feel overwhelmed before the holidays even begin.
The good news? You can take steps now to prevent burnout and approach the season with more calm and intention.
1. Check Your Expectations
Where have all the holiday “shoulds” come from exactly—how gatherings should look, how we should feel, or what we should be able to do. Try letting go of perfection and focusing instead on what feels meaningful. Ask yourself: What really matters to me this season? Whether it’s time with loved ones, rest, or simply slowing down, honoring your own priorities can bring a sense of peace and purpose.
2. Build in Breathing Room
Our calendars can fill up fast this time of year. Before saying yes to every event or request, pause and check in with your energy (not just your calendar). It’s okay to say no—or “not this time.” Scheduling downtime, even if it’s just a quiet morning with coffee before anyone is awake or a 15-minute walk after work, helps your mind and body recharge and get back to calm.
3. Budget for Both Money and Energy
Financial stress can add up quickly. Create a realistic budget now—one that includes not just gifts, but travel, food, and social plans. Remember, thoughtful doesn’t have to mean expensive.
Equally important: budget your emotional energy. Ask yourself which traditions or obligations feel more draining now and consider setting limits or reimagining them in ways that better fit your current season of life (like the holiday meals in my house).
4. Protect Your Routine
Sleep, movement, and regular meals are often the first things to slip during the holidays—but they’re also the anchors that help you stay grounded. Maintaining your basic self-care habits will help you manage stress more effectively and enjoy the season with more presence. And yes, in order to maintain your routine, you will have to say no to some things.
5. Plan for Emotional Triggers
The holidays can stir up grief, loneliness, or difficult memories. If this time of year tends to bring up complex emotions, think ahead about what support you might need—whether that’s talking with a therapist, setting boundaries around certain topics, planning a way to honor those you are missing, or carving out time for reflection and rest.
It’s okay to acknowledge mixed feelings. You can hold both gratitude and sadness at the same time.
6. Start Soothing Early
Don’t wait until the holiday chaos hits to start calming your nervous system. Try incorporating grounding practices now—deep breathing, journaling, mindfulness, or even short daily check-ins. I personally enjoy I bedtime sleep stretch and meditation to end the day. These routines build emotional resilience that will carry you through the busier weeks ahead.
Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down
You don’t have to wait until January to rest or reset. Starting early allows you to enter the season with intention instead of reaction. The holidays are about connection—both with others and with yourself. And that begins by giving yourself the same care and compassion you offer to everyone else.
If you’re finding that the upcoming season feels heavier than joyful, therapy can help you navigate those feelings and create space for what truly matters. At Mile by Miles Counseling, our therapists support individuals and couples through stress, grief, and life transitions with compassion and honesty.
You deserve to experience this season with presence and peace.
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