6 Life Transitions That Trigger Unexpected Depression & Anxiety

We often expect depression and anxiety to show up during clearly difficult moments—loss, trauma, crisis. But many people are surprised when their mental health begins to shift during transitions that are supposed to be “normal” or even positive. These are often the moments when all the shoulds show up. And as I like to say: don’t should yourself.

I frequently hear clients say: “Nothing bad happened… so why do I feel like this?”

And the truth is: change itself is stressful for the nervous system, even when the change is a welcome one.

Here are 6 life transitions that can quietly trigger depression and anxiety—and why your emotional response makes sense.

1. Becoming a Parent (or Expanding Your Family)

Bringing a baby home is often described as joyful, magical, and life-changing—which can be true. It’s also exhausting, identity-shifting, and emotionally intense.

Common mental health challenges during this transition:

• Mood changes and anxiety

• Feeling disconnected from yourself or your partner

• Grief for your “old life”

• Increased pressure to feel grateful or happy

Even when postpartum depression or anxiety isn’t present, the loss of autonomy, sleep disruption, and role changes can impact mental health in real ways.

2. Career Changes (Even the “Good” Ones)

Whether you’ve received a promotion, left a toxic workplace, started a business, or become a stay-at-home parent—career transitions can be emotionally weighted.

You might notice:

• Increased self-doubt or imposter syndrome

• Anxiety around finances or performance

Growth often brings uncertainty, and uncertainty can activate anxiety even when you’re moving toward something meaningful.

3. Moving, Relocating, or Returning Home

Moves are often treated as logistical events—but emotionally, they can be major life disruptions.

Relocation can trigger:

• Loneliness or isolation

• Grief over leaving community

• Increased anxiety navigating new systems and new spaces

• Feeling ungrounded or unsettled

Even positive moves (closer to family, better schools, new opportunities) can disrupt your sense of belonging and safety.

4. Relationship Transitions

Whether it be getting married, moving in together, separation, kids moving out, or new seasons in long-term partnerships, these changes can trigger a plethora of unexpected emotions.

• Fear of losing yourself

• Anxiety about the future

• Grief over changes in closeness or routine

• Old attachment wounds resurfacing

Relationships change our nervous systems—and transitions can bring vulnerability and emotional reorganization, even when the relationship itself feels healthy.

5. Hormonal & Body Transitions

Some of the shifts that are the catalysts for emotional shifts include pregnancy and postpartum, fertility treatments, perimenopause and menopause. Men are not immune to these impacts either, andropause can leave to hormonal shifts and bodily transitions.

These transitions can affect:

• Mood stability

• Sleep

• Anxiety levels

• Feeling at home in your body

When hormones shift, your brain chemistry and stress tolerance shift too—which means emotional changes are not “just in your head.”

6. Entering a New Life Stage

Ever sit and wonder, “Who am I?” or “How am I already 40?” Maybe even, “Is this how I thought my life at 40 would look?” While these moments are often labeled as milestones—and milestones tend to come with a lot of pressure—they don’t always feel joyful. Life stages can bring invisible grief:

• Becoming an empty nester

• Turning 30, 40, or 50

• Entering a caregiving role

• Transitioning into retirement

• Becoming the “responsible one” in your family

These moments can stir:

• Existential anxiety

• Identity confusion

• Grief over time passing

• A sense of disorientation

“But Nothing Bad Happened…” — Why This Still Makes Sense

Depression and anxiety aren’t only responses to trauma. They can show up when the heaviness of life starts to change. When routines fall away, uncertainty hits, support systems shift, environments change, and our identity begins to evolve, our nervous system can feel overwhelmed. Our bodies experience these subtle and not-so-subtle changes as a loss of familiarity and pressure to adapt. Our emotional system doesn’t measure stress the way logic does.

Signs a Life Transition Might Be Affecting Your Mental Health

You may benefit from extra support if you’re noticing persistent sadness or emotional numbness, increased anxiety or irritability, or a growing sense of disconnection from yourself. Difficulty sleeping or concentrating can also be signs that your nervous system is under strain. Many people describe an internal conflict of feeling like they “should be fine,” even while something inside feels off. These experiences are not personal failures—they’re signals that your system may need care and support during a period of change. That support can come in many forms, one of which might be therapy. Having a space to offload the heaviness and give yourself a little extra TLC during the transitions.

Gentle Reminder

If a life transition is stirring anxiety or depression, it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or broken. It means you’re human—and your nervous system is doing its best to adjust to change.