Finding a Therapist Who Gets It: Why Cultural Awareness Matters in Therapy

Let's be honest.

Starting therapy is already a lot. You're sitting across from a stranger, trying to put words to something you've been carrying. That's hard enough on its own.

What makes it even harder? Spending half the session explaining yourself before you can even get to the work.

Maybe you were the only Black woman in the room and left a meeting questioning yourself after a comment everyone else just brushed off. Maybe you're code-switching every single day, and nobody outside you seems to notice the energy it costs. Maybe you're carrying expectations about who you're supposed to be, how strong you're supposed to be, and what you're supposed to just handle, without anyone ever asking if you're okay underneath all of it.

Therapy should be one place where you don't have to do that.

I'm Kyi, a Resident in Counseling at Mile by Miles Counseling.

My work is rooted in creating a collaborative, evidence-based space where you don't have to minimize, justify, or explain your experiences. As a Black woman and a clinician, I understand that representation can matter, but I also know that no two people share the same story.

My job isn't to assume I already know yours. It's about listening, meeting you where you are, and helping you build something that actually feels like yours.

Therapy shouldn't be another space where you perform. It should be the place where you finally get to exhale.

Beyond 'Colorblind' Therapy: Why Cultural Awareness Is Essential

There's a version of therapy that treats all clients as interchangeable. It’s the same questions, the same frameworks, the same assumptions about what stress looks like and where it comes from. Mental Health isn't one-size-fits-all.

Research shows that “When mental health professionals expressed curiosity and openness to listen about their client’s cultural or racial backgrounds, clients reported feeling seen, respected, and validated as unique individuals” (Sadusky et al., 2023).

Culturally responsive care leads to stronger therapeutic alliances and better treatment outcomes. 

But beyond the research, here's what I know from clinical experience: the reasons black people enter therapy are rarely simple.

Sometimes anxiety isn't just anxiety. It's the hypervigilance that comes from years of knowing your room for error is smaller than the person next to you. Sometimes burnout isn't just about working too many hours; it's what happens when you're managing a full professional life, holding your family together emotionally, navigating spaces where you're already exhausted before you even get there, and still somehow holding it together. Sometimes people-pleasing isn't a personality quirk. It's a coping strategy you developed a long time ago because it worked, until it didn't.

A clinician who understands that doesn't need you to explain why these things are real. They already know they are.

Cultural awareness in therapy doesn't mean your therapist assumes they know your experience because of a similar identity. It actually means the opposite: approaching each session with genuine curiosity, asking questions instead of filling in the blanks, and recognizing that you are the expert on your own life. 

Does Representation Matter? Yes, But It's Complicated

As a Black therapist, I know firsthand that seeing someone who looks like you can lower the barrier to showing up. It can mean you don't have to spend the first three sessions building context that would've been understood walking in the door, and that matters.

But a similar identity is not the same as a shared experience.

The Black experience is not monolithic, and anyone who tells you otherwise is already making an assumption. Through my work in community mental health, I've worked with clients from different backgrounds: first-generation college students navigating impostor syndrome in predominantly white institutions, women balancing motherhood with personal identity, LGBTQ+ clients managing both racial and gender identity, and women whose primary presenting concern had nothing to do with race at all. 

It is important to work with a culturally humble therapist who takes your experiences seriously rather than someone who looks like you but walks in with assumptions. Cultural humility means a therapist knows they don't have all the answers about your life, stays curious rather than presumptuous, and understands that systemic realities exist.

What matters most in a therapeutic relationship is safety, curiosity, and clinical competence, in that order. 

What to Look for When Searching for a Therapist

Finding a therapist is a process, and it's okay to treat it like one.

A consultation call is not a commitment. You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to decide someone isn't the right fit and keep looking.

Here are questions worth asking:

1. How do you approach cultural identity in your clinical work?

2. How do you create space for conversations about racism, discrimination, or identity, and how does that show up in session?

3. What training or experience do you have working with clients from diverse communities?

4. How do you integrate cultural context into your treatment approach?

5. Most importantly, how do you handle feedback if a client feels misunderstood?
   

A clinician who is secure in their practice welcomes that conversation. 

Green flags to look for in a therapist are someone who asks about your background, family dynamics, and identities without assuming what those mean. Someone who adapts their approach to fit your values instead of asking you to fit theirs. Someone who, when they miss something, can sit with that feedback and stay curious rather than self-protective.

Red flags look like "I don't see color" or "I treat everyone the same." A therapist who minimizes your experiences or suggests you're being oversensitive. A therapist who expects you to educate them every session instead of coming in already equipped. 

Trust your gut. The right therapist won't make you convince them that your experiences are real.

You Don't Have to Earn the Right to Show Up

One of the most persistent myths in mental health spaces is that you have to be in crisis to justify asking for help.

You don't.

You don't have to wait until you're completely falling apart. You don't have to have a diagnosis, a traumatic event, or a breaking point. You're allowed to show up because you're tired. Because you're not sure who you are outside of everyone else's needs. Because you've been performing okay for so long that you've lost track of what actually okay feels like.

That's enough of a reason.

My clinical approach draws from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing, Person-Centered Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I use these frameworks as tools because what works for one client won't work for another, and therapy that doesn't fit your life isn't therapy that's going to help you. Sessions are practical and collaborative. We'll identify what's keeping you stuck, explore where it came from, and develop strategies that work outside the therapy office.

The goal isn't to become a different person. It's to reconnect with the version of yourself that's been working overtime to hold everything together, and to give her some actual support.

What Working Together Can Look Like

I provide therapy for adults navigating anxiety, depression, burnout, life transitions, perfectionism, people-pleasing, relationship concerns, self-esteem, and adjustment-related challenges. Whether race and identity are central to what brings you in or barely part of the picture, this is a space where your whole story is welcome.

I offer in-person therapy in Ashland, Virginia, and virtual therapy throughout Virginia, with evening appointments available. I am in-network with Anthem BCBS, Sentara, and Aetna.

You Deserve a Space Where You Can Exhale

The best therapy doesn't happen when you find a perfect therapist. It happens when you find someone who makes you feel safe enough to be yourself, and you can stop managing how you're perceived for an hour and just actually be in it.

You deserve a therapist who is clinically grounded, culturally informed, and willing to show up to your story with authentic curiosity. You deserve to work through what's actually happening instead of explaining why it's allowed to matter.

If you're looking for a therapist in Virginia who combines evidence-based practice with cultural humility and a collaborative approach, I'd be honored to be part of that work.

Read more about me and my background here

Schedule a consultation here

References:

Sadusky, A., Yared, H., Patrick, P., & Berger, E. (2023). A systematic review of Client’s perspectives on the cultural and racial awareness and responsiveness of mental health practitioners. Culture & Psychology, 30(3), 567–605. https://doi.org/10.1177/1354067x231156600