Motherhood is one of the most beautiful, rewarding, and transformative experiences a woman can go through. But let’s be real—it’s also one of the most challenging. Whether you’re a first-time mom or already navigating life with multiple kids, there are so many changes happening, both physically and emotionally. And too often, these changes are all lumped into one word “postpartum.” But how do we figure out when what is considered “normal” crosses a line? While most of us are familiar with the “baby blues,” there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes—especially when it comes to postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA). Sure, many new moms experience some level of anxiety and/or baby blues. Keeping a little helpless human alive is new to every mom. However, society and even medical professionals perceive PPD and PPA as common place and par for the course of motherhood. It does not have to feel that way and you do not have to weather that storm alone.
If you’re a new mom, or if you’ve been through it before, know that you’re not alone. Let’s talk about the changes you might experience and how to navigate them with understanding and self-compassion.
Physical Changes You Can Expect
The moment your baby is born, your body starts to change in ways that can feel overwhelming. You might experience everything from physical discomfort (hello, postpartum recovery!) to dramatic hormonal shifts. Often women describe not feeling at home in their own body anymore. Bodily changes are an inevitable part of the process, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t challenging, nor does it mean that you have to just live with it.
Hormona
l Shifts: After birth, your hormone levels (like estrogen and progesterone) drop dramatically. This can trigger feelings of sadness, mood swings, or irritability.
Physical Recovery: Whether you had a C-section or vaginal birth, your body is healing. The aches, exhaustion, and changes in your body can sometimes leave you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed.
Sleep Deprivation: New moms, you already know this one all too well. Lack of sleep isn’t just hard on your body—it can also affect your mental health. The “sleep deprivation fog” can make it feel like you’re constantly running on empty, and it’s easy to feel like you’re not performing at your best.
Emotional Changes that Can Occur
While feeling teary or overwhelmed after birth is completely normal (called the "baby blues"), the emotional rollercoaster often begins to subside after approximately 2 weeks postpartum. Being immediately connected with your baby does not always happen. For many moms, forming a connection can take longer than the 2 week “Baby Blues” period. During this time, give yourself grace. We have no way of knowing what motherhood will feel like, and those feelings are unique to each mom. Try to allow yourself to experience the feelings without judgment.
More serious emotional changes can occur as well including postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. 1 in 5 moms experience some form of one of these. You are not alone, it is not your fault, and help is available.
Here are a few signs of postpartum depression:
Persistent sadness/emptiness/irritability: If you feel like you're sinking into a deep sadness and it doesn't go away, it's worth talking to your doctor.
Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed: You might find that you don’t feel the same joy from activities you used to love, or even from spending time with your baby. It can feel kind of numb.
Difficulty bonding with your baby: It’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed, but if you find yourself feeling disconnected or unable to form a bond with your little one, it might be a sign of PPD but not without other symptoms.
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness: New moms often feel like they’re not doing “enough” or “doing it right.” Society is not kind to moms in this way. “Mom guilt” has become a culturally accepted norm.
Some common signs of postpartum anxiety include:
Excessive worry: You might find yourself obsessing over your baby’s health, or feeling like something bad is going to happen, even when there’s no reason for it. Examples include watching the baby's chest rise and fall while they are sleeping, unable to feel safe with other’s touching/holding your baby, anticipating the worst case and what ifs so often that it causes further disruption to your daily functioning (as if caring for a helpless human isn’t enough).
Physical symptoms: Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like a racing heart, shallow breathing, stomach discomfort, a lump in your throat, sweaty palms, and even dizziness at times.
Intrusive thoughts: These are distressing, unwanted thoughts about harm coming to your baby or yourself. It can be scary but remember—these thoughts don’t reflect your reality. Good moms have scary thoughts.
What to Do When You’re Struggling
Motherhood is hard, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength. Here’s what you can do to take care of yourself during this time:
Talk to Someone: You don’t have to carry the weight of these emotions alone. Seek out someone trusted or other moms who can understand.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Help: If you think you may be struggling with PPD or PPA, a therapist or counselor specializing in postpartum care can help you navigate these feelings. Medication can also be an option if your doctor suggests it.
Take Care of Your Body: Make sure you’re eating, drinking water, and getting rest (even if it’s just in short bursts). Your mental health is deeply connected to your physical well-being.
Be Gentle with Yourself: Remember, there’s no “perfect” way to be a mom. This is all new to you. It’s okay to ask for help, take breaks, and let go of unrealistic expectations (no matter what the perfect influencer mom is doing). You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
The Bottom Line: You Are Not Alone
Becoming a mom is a life-changing experience, and while it’s filled with moments of pure joy, it’s also full of challenges. You are a strong, amazing mom—even if you don’t always feel that way. Give yourself grace and allow yourself the time to heal, grow, and adjust to this new chapter in your life. You’ve got this.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” Rajneesh
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